Have you ever played Kaoroke Revolution? I bet you have. What you might not know is that there’s a slightly less prevailent version of the game that only features hip hop tracks (we used to call it Rap Rap Revolution, but the internet has informed me that this is definitely not its official name).
Katy and I always opted to select The Jumpoff in a heated game of Rap Rap Revolution, partially because it was the only Lil’ Kim song available, but mostly because it’s so awesome (Timbaland production values, anyone?). In fact, our obsession with this song became so all-encompasing that we became, for a brief time, those annoying people who got really drunk and insisted to rap a complete (if slurred) version of The Jumpoff in all manner of public spaces and events. So tough and classy! Just like Lil’ Kim herself, who once had a reality tv show about preparing to go to jail, in which a manicurist plastered her nails with ACTUAL CUT UP $100 BILLS. Money ain’t a thing; throw it out like rice.
Lil’ Kim, who appears to have had almost as much plastic surgery as Michael Jackson, is currently and hilariously being sued by Simon and Schuster for not actually writing her forthcoming autobiography, despite taking the generous advance.
Don’t worry, Kim. I still love you. And I can’t wait to read your awesome book, whenever you get around to writing it.
The Week in Broketown, 3/23—3/27
19 hours ago