Ok, OSS, I’m telling you this story because I need to get it off my chest. I already feel terrible about this, so please try not to judge me too hard.
I was having a good weekend. I was getting a lot done—-working on my book and a number of other things. Thursday night, I stayed up very late to write. Friday night, I cleaned my whole apartment in order to try to support productivity.
Friday night was nice. I was happy. I went to the grocery store to buy some things for dinner and I also bought one, count ‘em!, ONE! beer to enjoy with dinner. I ate dinner. I was drinking the beer, doing something on the computer when I got up to get something from the other room. As I stood up, I knocked the beer over and watched about an eighth of it poor into my laptop. Awesome.
I panicked and ran into the kitchen to get a rag. By the time I got back to my computer, most of it had seeped inside. I mopped up what I could and poured out the rest. The computer kept working fine and I thought, “huh. Maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal.” Then, the hard drive started making a weird noise. Yeah, it was a big deal.
I started uploading things I hadn’t yet backed up to Gmail as fast as I could, but it was to no avail. Within 15 seconds, the screen went blank save for some random splotches of blue and purple. PRETTTTY. Also, it sounded as if a metallic demon was in there, banging on tiny microchip pipes.
I got online and searched “I spilled beer on my computer.” The amount of people who have spilled beer on their computers across the country would boggle your mind. It’s incredible. In case this ever happens to you, here’s what you should do:
1. Turn the laptop off and remove the battery ASAP. If you do this quick enough, you can avoid causing a short. Sadly, I don’t think I did this quick enough.
2. Flip it over and pour out the beer/liquid. Mop up the rest with a towel.
3. Take it apart and clean it with rubbing alcohol. Or take it to your local reliable computer shop. Mine’s currently having a fun AND fancy vacation at Tekserve.
4. Let it dry. For days, apparently. Don’t use a hairdryer. Do use a fan.
5. Try to turn it back on. Cross your fingers. Please cross yours for me.
6. Dance around or cry, depending on what happens.
Or better, don’t be dumb like me. Don't drink beer next to your computer, especially when you quit your job to work on a book that you haven’t fully backed up. And if you absolutely have to, consider using a sippy cup.
I’m pretty sure that Minnesota-based band Gospel Gossip probably didn’t write this song for me, but I like it anyway.
Band member Sarah Nienaber wrote in a while back to say that GG was going on tour. While they’re not on tour anymore, they play often in Minneapolis and you can hear some more of their stuff on the trusty internets (obviously I’m here by the grace of another computer). They also scored many points with me by using a negative Pitchfork quote on their myspace. Well done, guys.
This song’s got a balanced mix of feed-backed shoegaze guitar and strong melody; a nice distraction for the wake of The Great Computer Disaster of 2009.
Sippy Cup.mp3
I never knew my love could get so far away from me.
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