Friend: “Hey, what’s up”
Me: “What? What is up? Oh. Yes. Hi. Hello.”
When I’m feeling particularly asleep on the subway, I often cook up ridiculous ideas that I think are awesome until I fully wake up. This morning, I was thinking about gay marriage, mostly because Gov. Paterson has been pushing so hard for it (say what you will about the guy, but he gets this for what it truly is—a civil rights issue). I was thinking about how I’ve seen a lot of tee shirts supporting gay marriage, but most of the ones I’ve seen have been kind of ugly (come on, gays—you are supposed to be fashionable!). Then, I was thinking about what kind of gay marriage shirt I would make for myself. I saw it clearly: dark green shirt, cursive-y writing that just read: “Marry me.” And then, somewhere else, maybe on the back, an addendum, “Oh wait, you can’t.” Anybody want to take a crack at this? Or was this just another of my harebrained N train schemes?
Rogue tee shirt design ideas aside, it seems to me that the universe is trying to make me examine some things today. Next, an acquaintance linked to this very interesting article about gay parenting on her Facebook.
Finally, as if personal anxiety about queer marriage and parenting obeys the famed and dreaded rule of threes (anybody see that 30 Rock from a few weeks ago?), my mom emailed me to let me know that yes, it was fine if my girlfriend and I spent the night before Thanksgiving at their house, but no, it was not fine for us to sleep in the same bed. I love my mom (hi, K) and much of the time I even love her quaint antiquated rules, but this kind of felt like the rainbow straw that broke the bisexual camel’s back. Why? Well, when is it ok for you to sleep in the same bed as your spouse in my parent’s house? When you’re married. And when will I get married? “Oh wait, I can’t.” I appreciate that straight children and queer children are subjected to the same old-timey standards when it comes to this matter, but it’s not exactly fair that it’s ILLEGAL for me to ever sleep in the same bed as the person I’m dating under these circumstances. And while A. and I aren’t exactly getting our civil union tomorrow, the whole thing still kinda bums me out.
Combine all this with the fact that I woke up with this perfectly poppy song of oppression in my head a few mornings ago and here's what you get: a weird rambley post about gay marriage and a 60s pop song to go with it.
I highly doubt that The Beach Boys knew how nicely this song, which is from the much-beloved and much-copied-of-late Pet Sounds album, would work for this situation when they wrote it. In fact, it’s well-documented that the song is about the restrictions and lack of independence that comes with childhood. From Wikipedia:
In the Endless Harmony documentary, Brian Wilson described the song as "what children everywhere go through… wouldn't it be nice if we were older, or could run away and get married"…In a 1996 interview, Wilson stated, "'Wouldn't It Be Nice' was not a real long song, but it's a very 'up' song. It expresses the frustrations of youth, what you can't have, what you really want and you have to wait for it."
Please, America…we’re tired of waiting.
(File removed by request)
Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And, after having spent the day together,
Hold each other close the whole night through?
The happy times together we've been spending,
I wish that every kiss was never ending.
Oh, wouldn't it be nice?
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true.
Baby, then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do.
We could be married
And then we'd be happy.
Wouldn't it be nice?
You know it seems the more we talk about it,
It only makes it worse to live without it ,
But let’s talk about it.
Oh, wouldn't it be nice.