August 2, 2010

Danzig//Mother

Guys, as of tomorrow, I am going away again for about two weeks. I KNOW! I’m never here. I’m like a wayward drifter, a multi-vacationing bum, a deadbeat dad.

But wait! Someone else is going to take care of you! Someone with excellent fashion sense, a heart of gold and impeccable taste in music.

Meet Ethan:


(and never mind why he’s holding a plate of Thanksgiving food).

Here are some things you should know about him:

1. He has two (visible) tattoos—one is of a record and one is an artistic rendering of a line from a Modest Mouse song.
2. He is responsible for this.
3. He is also responsible for this.
4. He has worked on Law and Order, which means he has some hilarious stories about quirky celebrities that you probably want to hear.
5. I call Ethan, and a handful of other people, “Mom.” That is a story that is too long to tell here.

I’m telling you all this because Ethan is going to take care of you while I’m gone, so please be nice to him. Listen to him. Take out the trash when he asks, because he’s Mom to me and he’s going to be like a Mother to you. Which brings me to this:



Mother.mp3

"Ethan," sung to the tune of "Mother":

Ethan,
Thank you for taking over this blog,
Thank you for writing a post a day,
Ohhhhhhh, Ethan.

2 comments:

katherine said...

I was hoping this was actually "Ethan," sung to the tune of Tori Amos's "Mother."

Ethan, the car is here
Somebody leave the li-ight on
Just in, just in, just in
Case I like the dan-cing
(Something something something)

(etc. etc.)

g said...

I guess it could also be sung to the tune of Tracy Bonham's "Mother Mother":

Ethan, Ethan
How's the family?
I'm just calling to say hello
...
I'M HUNGRY
I'M DIRTY
I'M LOSING MY MIND
EVERYTHING'S FINE!