September 8, 2009

The Replacements//Bad Worker

Recession or not, work is lame. We’re celebrating/commiserating/job-hunting with you during this full Work Week on OSS.

I’m not sure if we were hanging out together back then, but if we were, you probably remember the moment when I got totally out-of-control obsessed with The Replacements. Yeah, that definitely happened.

Well, the buzz didn’t fade that quick, because I’m still real into them kinda bad. Also bad? Paul Westerberg’s work ethic, apparently.

This is a simple song about a simple concept: shit jobs. These are the jobs you get that suck the absolute most – summer jobs, high school jobs, service industry bottom-of-the-barrel that you end up in when you’re ambitionless and drunk all the time, or when the economy is so craptastical that you can’t find anything better. Some examples: the box office at the movie theater, a clerk at Blockbuster (I had both of these), the school janitor, the medical orderly, fast food anything, the grocery checkout or the barista. They often have something to do with cleaning or food or both, and they almost always involve people treating you like a second (or third, or fourth) class citizen. You barely ever get any kind of decent compensation, benefits or any real personal reward for this type of work—but the upside is that these jobs are almost always available and often do not stretch the brain much. If you’re Westerberg, this means you have more time to think about writing brilliant Replacements lyrics…or making it with a customer. Hot.

This breed of job blows way more than your average job, so if you happen to be stuck in one of these, I’d highly suggest downloading this one, memorizing the lyrics and signing them to yourself in particularly ridiculous situations…like when coffee spills on some lady’s dress and she threatens to sue you….or when your boss asks you to work your third double of the week. Up with OSS; damn the man.

Bad Worker.mp3

Get them fingerprints off of my neck.
I’m sure you haven't cleaned in the office yet.
Finish that cigarette on your own damn time.
Worked so hard I ain't got any,
Pocket full of dimes, quarters or a penny

Cause I'm a bad worker.
My father would be ashamed.
I'm a bad, bad worker.
I give you minimum effort for a minimum wage.

Labor Fact: According to the latest report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are currently 14.9 million people who are unemployed in the US, and the unemployment rate rose by 0.3 percentage point to 9.7 percent in August.

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